


hands under the table

by adeleblaircassiedanser



Category: Veep
Genre: AU where Dan has some rudimentary communications skills, Charleston (Location), M/M, Nonsense, Relationship Negotiation, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 14:50:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adeleblaircassiedanser/pseuds/adeleblaircassiedanser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Look, they’ve been doing this for a long time- years, now- and it’s good. The sex is good. They have a good time. And Jonah knows the rules.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hands under the table

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a "minifill". For anon, prompts: subtle kindnesses, an absent look or touch, coming home. Not sure it exactly fits any of them, but here we are. Title from "A Loving Feeling" by Mitski.

Look, they’ve been doing this for a long time- years, now- and it’s good. The sex is good. They have a good time. And Jonah knows the rules. 

 

Dan is militant about secrecy. No one can know that they’re anything to each other; and anyway, it seems pretty obvious that Dan doesn’t have much to hide in that regard; he’s eager, willing, this is convenient- but Jonah can count the times he’s been allowed to sleep over in Dan’s magazine spread-looking condo on one hand, and even when Dan crashes at his place he usually leaves early in the morning, with a terse “Bye,” and a half-smile.

 

When Jonah finds out about the conference in Charleston, one October weekend, he floats the idea to Dan half as a joke. He’s not expecting Dan to shrug and say “sure,” and book them a single room at some bed and breakfast and pack a bunch of ridiculous J. Crew shorts into an overnight bag and come with. They end up going up a little early, so they have a couple days just to fuck around. The weirdness hits Jonah slowly at first - it’s just little stuff, Dan laughing longer than usual at some dumb joke he’s made, open-faced, his eyes lingering on Jonah’s face. The next morning they’re eating breakfast and Dan passes behind his chair on the way to the bathroom and drops a hand on Jonah’s shoulder on the way, squeezes a little. Jonah whips around, but Dan’s back is already turned, and when he gets back he’s acting like everything's normal. Well, almost normal- he’s still smiling way too much. 

 

After that Jonah starts to push his luck. He lays a hand on the small of Dan’s back as they pass through a doorway, and Dan doesn’t flinch away. Finally, determined to find the edge of this cliff, he stops in the middle of a crowded street in this Southern city, in broad daylight, drags Dan in by the waist and kisses him. 

 

The fucker kisses back- really goes for it, no half-assed shit, brings his hand up to grip the back of Jonah’s neck.  _ You’re not even drunk,  _ Jonah thinks, and is surprised to find himself truly  _ angry _ . They have an arrangement. Jonah is cool, okay, he’s low-maintenance, he’s definitely not one of Dan’s dozens of needy chick conquests floating around DC, wanting or needing to try and tie the slippery fucker down. Jonah goes with the flow, always has. 

 

How dare Dan change the rules now? “Dude,” he’s saying, pulling back, grabbing Jonah by the chin and making penetrating eye contact. “Dude, J, what the fuck is up with you today? You look like the school bully threatened to kill your dog tonight.” 

 

Dan slaps his cheek lightly, smirking. “What is it?” 

 

Jonah grits his teeth, feeling hot blood rush to his face, prickling. “Nothing,” he says. 

 

“Okay, so lighten up, will you? You’re freaking me out.” 

 

\---

 

“You wanna just drop me home?” Dan says when they’re twenty minutes or so outside D.C. 

 

“Sure,” Jonah says casually. It’s not a bad idea. Being together for four straight days would be a bit much even for an actual couple, which they are not. 

 

“Bye,” Dan says lightly, doing a sort of half-wave as he hops out of the Cube, gets his suitcase out of the trunk. It feels… anticlimactic, is all, after the lingering kisses good morning every single day, all the hundred casual, unnecessary brushes of hand against shoulder, hand across wrist, open looks and private, shared smiles. Then again, Jonah can’t help but to have noticed, Dan hasn’t touched him once today in the hours since they crossed the border from North Carolina into Virginia, so.

 

It sucks, because Jonah could feel through the whole weekend what was going to happen. The next time they see each other, Tuesday or Wednesday, Dan has reverted fully to the mean. His usual explanation on the occasions that someone recognizes one or both of them (which are not as frequent as you’d think, given Jonah is a US Congressman and Dan’s, like, literally on TV) is just “Oh yeah, me and Jonah used to work together in the White House back in the day,” with a bland smile. The great part about that is, it’s an easy sell. No one who sees them together would have any trouble buying that they’re ex-coworkers who are still casually acquainted, not from Dan’s detached-but-friendly facial expressions or from the two foot buffer he maintains between them at all times, flinching and stepping back whenever Jonah inches forward. 

 

The thing about it is, it’s always been this way. Dan has his iceman reputation for a reason. Behind closed doors, sure, he’s hot fire, and Jonah’s always been able to tell himself it’s a good trade, a fair trade. Suddenly, though, Jonah feels cheated. He could feel it starting to happen in the lobby of that fucking B&B, the first time the check-in lady had made some offhand comment about them being fucking  _ married  _ or something and Dan hadn’t bristled, hadn’t lashed out or looked horrified- that was the first warning, a twisting feeling in Jonah’s gut. An appetite had been whetted, and he only grew more ravenous at every additional scrap, every hint, every indicator that this thing might, on some level, go both ways. God, just the thought- that Dan goddamn Egan might actually- give a shit? That he is actually capable of expressing something towards Jonah besides unadulterated lust or total indifference? It’s opened up this insatiable, bottomless pit beneath Jonah, and he can’t find his footing. 

 

Dan must realize something’s off, because he brings it up after sex on Friday. 

 

“So, like…” and here a ponderous pause- “are we good?” 

 

“Yeah, Dan, we’re good,” Jonah says, but his voice comes out so reflux-bitter that he’s reminded of his mother. He shudders. “Why do you ask?”

 

“Well, not to put too fine a point on it,” Dan says, “but you’re acting fucking weird. You were acting weird in Charleston, and you’re acting weirder now.”

“Oh,  _ I  _ was acting fucking weird in fucking Charleston? You kidding?”

 

“No?” Dan says. “What are you talking about?” 

 

“Look, can you just explain the… strategic rationale for spending four days pretending like, I dunno, we’re, like, together or something? Like you like me?”

 

Jonah knows Dan well enough that he can watch the castle gates slide down, one after another, as Dan closes himself off. “Right,” he says. “Okay. Sorry for pretending, I guess.” He pushes off the bed with both arms, lurches in the direction of the pile of his clothes on the floor. 

 

“Oh, ok, so what,” Jonah says. “I’m supposed to believe that was the real you? You weren’t pretending, you just secretly really like me and want to be my boyfriend and you’ve just been  _ acting  _ like you didn’t give a shit for the past two years?” 

 

“Fuck off,” Dan says, pulling his shirt on. He’s flushed red and still covered in freckles from all that time in the sun. Something in the set of his mouth makes Jonah’s stomach turn over. 

 

“Wait,” Jonah says. “Fuck. Holy fuck. You’re being serious.” 

 

Dan meets his eyes, looking furious. “I don’t know about you,” Dan says, “but I’m not in the habit of maintaining, like, multi-year no-win sexual contracts with people I don’t even like.”

 

“You like me.” 

 

“Shut up. Stop smiling.”

 

“You fucking like me, you pussy! I fucking knew it. Come here,” and Dan moves reluctantly back towards the bed. After a kiss Jonah quietly tests the ropes, never one to quit while he’s ahead.

 

“So how come,” he says, “if you like me so much-” 

 

_ So much?  _ Dan mouths back, looking skeptical. 

 

“How come I’m only allowed to do PDAs in fucking South Carolina, where it’s, like, for sure way more dangerous for people to see how gay for me you are?”

 

“Shut up,” Dan says. “First of all, don’t say PDA, you sound like a middle school teacher. Secondly, do you really want everyone in this toxic cesspool of a town knowing every detail of your business? ‘Cause I don’t. In my experience, people knowing shit about me has never worked in my favor.”

 

Jonah shrugs, still feeling a little dizzy with it, like he’s rolling-  _ you like me, you really like me -  _ “I mean, I never thought of it like that. I just- I want you all the time. I can’t just switch it on and off like you.” If this is Honesty Hour, let no one accuse Jonah Ryan of half-assing it. 

 

“I mean,” Dan says, “same. It’s not like I can turn it off. I turn it down, sometimes, yeah.” 

 

“What if you didn’t, though,” Jonah says, reckless. 

 

“What?” 

 

“I mean, we’re both grownups. You like me. I like you. What if we just… do the fucking thing?” 

 

Dan examines him for a bit, biting his bottom lip. “I don’t make any major life decisions this soon after sex,” he says, a little stiffly. “So. Motion tabled.”

 

Jonah will take that as the win it is. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, that's right, I'm still in this fandom lol.


End file.
